Indians tend to fluctuate between extremes when dealing with Pakistan. We must evolve a policy to deal with maturity with Pakistan. Like any other country Pakistan has her share of hawks and doves. May be more of former than latter.
However, we have to learn to deal with them being neighbors. We cannot go into war as it may not convert them into India lovers. I fear more of them will hate us. Remember Bangladesh?
We must protect our borders vigorously. Stop illegals entrants, control legal visitors. There is no need to open our borders, atleast not now and not in distant future. Let us not become emotional that they are like us. They hate us enough to be ready to send jehadis to kill us. Let us live in peace and let them have their life. We must remember Kargill, Parliament and Mumbai in our dealing with Pakistan.
Finally, let us give them something to work on. Do it behind close doors not through media. We should not make them defensive. We will probably react the same way if cornered. We may be certain of Pak army, ISI and extremist complicity, Pakistani's may not see or want to see it that way. May be they are being forced to see what they see. Remember so many retractions. Mobilise world opinion to dismantle Pak army and ISI..